He really is. And we're thinking you should definitely hit VICE like post-haste, but in the interim, we're going to excerpt the excerpt. Cool? Totally.
"I told Sarah I was going to live at Walmart until she changed her mind about the divorce. After I lived there a week, I decided that she wasn't going to change her mind. So each day I sat and watched the buggy boys gather up the buggies and take them inside. I watched the people with handicapped stickers pull all the way up and park in front. I decided to call Sarah and check up on the kids.
I told her, "Well, if you need me, you'll know where to find me." Then I shouted, "Oh, God!"
Sarah said, "What's wrong?"
I told her, "Oh, don't worry. I think I just saw the biggest woman I've ever seen going into Walmart. I wish you could see her. Hold on. I'll try to take a picture."
But Sarah said, "Yeah, Barbara said she saw you in the Walmart parking lot. She asked me why you were there. It's embarrassing people seeing you there, Scott." She told me she needed to give me something and I knew what she meant. She wanted to give me some money for an apartment.
I told her I wasn't going to take any of her blood money and she told me I would. I told her I wouldn't and she told me I would. I told her no. This is where I live now. She told me no you don't. Then I tried reciting a love poem for her but she told me I was drunk."