Please do take a look "I Got and IUD, and I Got Pregnant" at The Cut and please note there is excerpt below as well.
"It’s hard to explain why I never went through with it. I realized I’d never truly faced what I would do if I were ever put in the position of an unwanted pregnancy. Each time I had been pregnant before, it was because I had wanted to be; the yearning for a child was so real that it was painful. Now, unwillingly pregnant at age 37, I had no idea if I was capable of either option: another baby, or ridding myself of a pregnancy. Each option felt equally terrifying."